Hi Everyone,

This is my new blog address for my personal blogs about things going on in and around me. The Learning Lollipops "blog" will be strickly for recording and posting pictures for my preschool families. Of course, all are welcome to "peek" into the classroom at anytime; however, this is MY site for my personal thoughts and feelings. Those of you that read about the problems I was having "blogging" in my Learning Lollipops "blog" can appreciate with me my accomplishmen.

Chocolate

Aaaaaaaaah, chocolate
Rich, dark chocolate
Semi sweet chocolate
Chocolate with peanuts
Chocolate with almonds
Mmmmmmmmmm.

Drug of choice
Melting in mouth
Tongue clothed in sweetness
I hold it.
Salvia forming paste
I savor it.

Mmm warmth like being wrapped in moist heat
Comfort like in being heard
Safety, as in being held
Celebration, celebrating the value of me
Stimulation, dancing with joy
Sedation, holding feelings at bay
Numbness, feeling nothing
No Thing.
I want more
I crave more
I need more!

I cry for more
Gimmie more
I need more.

More
More
More.


I wrote this poem while attending a writing class. I was literally in a sinkhole and I felt myself falling, falling, falling. This poem helped me discover the pattern of my distructive behavior. It was so clear; it was so...right there...inside me. Since, I have been gentle with myself and I have asked myself:
"What's going on right now?"
What ever comes up, I am present with it.
I have learned to hold it in a compassionate gaze.
I have learned when judgement comes up
I simply say, "Thank-You."
I have learned when immobolizing fear
Seems to have me in its grip
I say, "Thank-You."
I am reminded of a title of a book...
I never read, the title said it all.
"Feel the fear and do it anyway."
It's too simple isn't it?
Yet, it works!
I see it dissipating into the air
Leaving me with snippets of wisdom.
A new way of viewing,
A new point of view; viewpoint changed!
YES!